Yellow Light
by theglamourfades
Summary: Four times that Anna and John went to the beach. Some canon, some AU.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Summary is pretty self-explanatory. Because the beach time we got was nowhere near as good as it should have been.**

**The usual stands: Downton Abbey belongs to Julian Fellowes/Carnival/ITV.**

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_Yellow Light_

_Part 1_

It had been a feat for him to keep from smiling since that hour just after the break of dawn but weeks ago. Here, where there were really no confinements to speak or even think of, the smile he wore stretched nearly as far as the horizon that was before him.

As he looked out again John consciously inhaled, filling his lungs with that distinctive scent of sea air. He could almost taste the salt on his tongue. It seemed like an exaggeration, no doubt the mark of all men who had been condemned to see out their days in a hellish eternity with nothing but a blank void staring back at them. He had been one of the lucky ones, saved from such a fate. The light that had been trapped inside, hidden and hoarded behind his eyes, grew and grew until it could no longer be contained. At its height it might well have blinded him, and though it could have proved a fair bargain, he was gratified that he had been able to retain all of his remaining faculties.

He both watched and heard the foam upon the water's surface dance and crash, its power something to behold, the sound swirling in his ears. Everything really was so much sharper now, everything he experienced taking on a new force of meaning. His appreciation knew no bounds. The musk and endless stench replaced by the purity of all the world had to offer, an oppressively dark palette painted over with a spectrum of colour. He even relished the feeling of sand between each of his toes, tiny grains inching their way to every crevice and making him itch in a way that was only now mildly irritating. Wonders were ceaseless in this brand new existence.

She was the most precious wonder there would ever be.

When the curses of violence and yells of despair had not proved too much he had spent long hours sprawled against the unforgiving mattress in his box of a cell, attempting to fathom all the ways in which she was so unquestionably divine. He felt weighed down with regret on her behalf that he should have to bring her into this world where her perfection did not belong, even if she was kept sheltered in the safety of his thoughts. As it went, they were the only things keeping him sane. The beauty of her smile, the spark that never died in those sapphire eyes. The laugh that lifted his spirits after an especially taxing day when he had been subjected to one too many sideways glances. Her elegant fingers, those that surely belonged to a lady in disguise, weaving with the needle and thread as she worked; later, weaving in the spaces between his, the pad of his thumb soothing a tiny blister that had formed, the sign of unswerving duty. The breath of her sighs at the side of his head, all that he ever wanted to hear, the feel of the silk of her skin pressed to his. All too much for him to bear, and yet he was never able to think enough.

The end of October was not the time to make the most of being at the seaside. Yet Anna's enthusiasm had not dampened one bit, and in turn neither had his. Since they had decided upon the destination for their four days spent away, an extremely kind gesture by Lord and Lady Grantham meant for the reunited couple to truly enjoy his return, she had not stopped chattering about how thrilling it would be to be at the beach. To his surprise she told him that she had not visited since she was a small child, when her family had departed from the tiring occupations of the farm for a rare holiday. Keenly watching the excitement grow in her gaze, John determined that he would do everything he could to make the trip memorable for her. No doubt she would have swatted him upon the arm and told him that any day she spent in his company, unreserved to her as it now was, was more marvellous than she could ever dream. Feeling her small hand wrap around the sleeve of his jacket, as daring a touch as they could endeavour even when nobody else was present in the servants' hall, he began to wonder how different the sands of Scarborough would be to those in Fanore or Liscannor Bay.

As it turned out, they were not that dissimilar. The inn that they were lodging at sat not too far away from the edge of the shore, meaning that they could be out on the beach not too long after the sun's rise. John used his best powers of persuasion to keep them between the sheets that little bit longer and he prized Anna's relenting smile before she snuggled even closer for a kiss, the number of which he had lost count of even before it deepened considerably, her hands possessive as they snaked around the back of his neck.

With more energy than him, his wife could have stayed upon the sands all day and he would have happily regarded her in her pursuits. Anna was eager to explore every inch from one side of the pier to the other. He couldn't help but think that she looked exactly like a nymph as she twirled and skipped, her skirts held in her hands, a creamy flash of bare ankles glimpsed whilst she kicked the sand playfully. Her infectious giggles were only momentarily interrupted by a yelp or two as the sea lapped unexpectedly at her feet. She was so full of joy, John had never seen her spirits soar quite so high – save for the moment they had been pronounced _Mr_ _and Mrs Bates_ – and that he could be responsible for such a beautiful change in her filled him with more pride than he had in any of his life's achievements.

She had been showing another different side to herself too, one that he had been made pleasantly aware of during his imprisonment with her talk of buying garters and the fluttering of her long eyelashes towards him when the guard had not patrolled so closely, the fire of desire in her eyes burning unmistakably while his own blood heated distinctly the longer he gazed upon her. His wife in name, and but for one night that he had held dear, in body. In some of her letters she had dared to make some rather risqué hints about how they could 'get to know one another properly' once he was free and they were living in their own home, without any restrictions upon them. A dream that had been eternal for both.

He recalled the other evening when she had scampered off in front of him, going down towards the water's edge as the sun was lowering in the sky. Anna was always conscious of getting too far ahead and she slowed her steps when he reached his arms towards her, wrapping her in his embrace to cover her face in kisses. She wriggled in his grasp, claiming that she was ticklish and that the combined efforts of his hands and his lips did not help matters. She pulled his head down closer when he asked whether he should stop. The wind started to whip around them, nearly taking her hat clean from her head. He made the suggestion that it was ideal weather for flying a kite. His eyes widened and his cheeks coloured a little when he heard the one she put forward. Swimming in the sea by moonlight wouldn't prove that scandalous, if rather bracing, but then he remembered that neither of them had brought along bathing costumes. The smirk on her face was the most delicious thing he'd ever laid his eyes upon, and yet he stroked her cheek with the softest touch he could muster.

He simply could not put into words how much he loved her and how he eagerly awaited the life they would build together with every beat of his heart.

The splitting of the clouds had brought their afternoon stroll along the beach to an abrupt end, though as she looked longingly out of the window from their room John could tell Anna was hopeful that the rain would halt long enough so they would be able to go out and watch the sun set over the sea. In a swift movement that he almost didn't have the time to comprehend she brought her hat down. John smiled as he saw the small tufts of hair stick out at either side of her head, in stark contrast to the gold smoothness of the rest, not immune from the sprays of water that had come from the sky and the earth beneath their feet too.

She let out a sigh as she turned, looking down upon the suitcase that was lying open on top of the bed.

"I can't believe it's our last night already," she uttered in a whisper that was worlds away from the cheerful exclamations she had made all over the weekend.

John caught her hand as it travelled down the slightly bobbled bedsheet, bringing forth a smile that he would never tire of beholding. He gave a gentle squeeze before he quickly lifted the case, settling it down at the foot.

"Let's forget about that for now," he pleaded. "Lie down with me, love."

His arm remained circled around her waist as their backs braced the mattress simultaneously, Anna instinctively nestling closer to his side and bringing up both of her arms to fit against him. John's eyes went from contemplating the ceiling to dropping down to notice once more how her feet only made it to his calves. The sight never failed to make him smile. As much as he had wished to be part of the world again, feeling the life rushing through his veins as he found himself amongst the fields and felt the hard cobbles beneath his feet once more, he loved it best when it was just the two of them occupying the perfect world of their own making. Nothing compared to the softness of his Anna, the exhilaration he experienced when he held her in his arms though she had been made specifically for that purpose. Yet he knew she was so much more, more that he couldn't even begin to imagine but which he would dedicate himself to discovering.

She shifted a little in his arms and he adjusted his hold, cradling her like she was the most precious thing in the world. His unbelievably beautiful warrior. Her eyes were closed and she snuffled contentedly when he placed delicate kisses over the lids.

"We've done a lot of walking today."

"Is your leg okay?"

"Perfectly. I think it did it some good. Remind me of that when I start complaining later."

A veil of worry floated over her face but she was quickly placated by the raise of his eyebrows, and the hand that began to stroke its way down her side.

"You've caught the sun," he noted, dotting his fingertips at her cheeks, his slightest touch causing her to respond with a shudder of her shoulders.

"Hardly. It's been grey for most of the day."

"It's deceptive. You have." He ran a finger over a little patch of peeling skin, not that it spoiled her flawlessness. "I don't have such luck, given my mother's gift of her fine Irish complexion."

"God doesn't need to alter what's already perfect."

John rolled his eyes at her praise before he started to move insistently from side to side, bumping against one of her hipbones.

"Blasted sand gets everywhere."

Giggles erupted from her lips, a delicate hand landing upon his chest.

"It'll make for a nice memory when we get back," she replied sweetly, and he couldn't stop his mind from wandering.

Half of him didn't want to ever leave this room or indeed this bed, collected images of Anna and him and their lips crashing and hands caressing and limbs tangling taking over everything. In between heated kisses and whispered exchanges, they talked for what seemed like hours about the days to come as well as the nights. Anna spoke of giving their newly acquired cottage a real spruce-up while he hung upon her every word, stroking back the hair that had tangled upon her forehead with one hand and holding the other in hers all the while. A ridiculous part of him feared that if he let go she would disappear like a dream snatched from him as the morning broke. She noticed the concern he couldn't hide in his look, tuning into him instantly. The sheets slipped, leaving her gloriously bare before him, wearing only a soft smile. Before he could think another terrible and untrue thought her lips were lingering upon his, leading him willingly into a kiss that somehow managed to be ten times more sensuous than the last they had shared. Life was a dream that had come true for him and it would remain so no matter where they found themselves. He promised her a garden full of all the flowers she could possibly pick as his hand moved lazily over her stomach. Perhaps in time they'd even have a vegetable patch too.

It surely wasn't possible but he believed he could live off her love alone.

"We need to go out and have some dinner," her head rested in the crook of his neck. "I need to feed you up, still."

He frowned a little, though he couldn't hide the smirk pulling at his lips. "I thought you would like the slimmer figure I was cutting."

"Mr Bates," as much as he adored it when she addressed him by his Christian name he still went weak when he heard her utter his full title in such a manner. "I happen to think that the more of you there is, the better."

He had to chuckle, suppressing his baser urges to roll over and replace her clothing with kisses teemed over her body, though he didn't suspect that she would complain if he took his chances. With no fear of being silenced and possessing a freer state of mind since his release, he took the opportunity to tell her the thoughts he had been keeping while he held her close in the aftermath when she was still catching her breath. John's pulse quickened to see Anna flush as he confessed his racy words, at first worried that she might be embarrassed but being spurred on by the rapid dilation of her pupils and the warmth of her body underneath his palms.

She asked him if he would dress her in the mornings and he happily obliged, taking great pride in the job, stopping every now and then to cup her face in her hands and kiss her softly. He made sure that he didn't lace her corset too tightly, she saying that it felt too strange to be without one even when they weren't in uniform. He smiled and felt his heart flutter when she took his hand, placing it over her own.

"I love you, Mrs Bates."

The words always held such a great depth of emotion for him, and he couldn't fight it even now, just after he had kissed her again.

She shook her head, gazing at him lovingly.

"And I love you, Mr Bates." She placed a peck on his cheek. "My husband." Another on the other after her hand had stroked a path there. "John."

Anna revelled in the wide smile upon his face before she parted his lips with her own. The kiss was slow, sweet, everlasting. Enough time passed by that the rain shower came to a conclusion outside, the darkening yellow light of the sun peeking through the clouds to tell the world that the day wasn't quite over yet.

John was too entranced by the arch of his wife's back as she stood up, the curve of her behind jutting briefly in the air before her body straightened again. The weight of so many months that she had carried upon her shoulders had ebbed firmly away and she was only left with complete serenity, a renewed flame in her eyes and a smile that wouldn't leave her. A smile that tempted him to the point of surrender as much as it made his heart sing with the purest love he had ever known.

"You're right," she writhed a little where she stood, a towel held in her dainty hands and slipping between her fingers, "the sand does get everywhere. It's not entirely comfortable, given that we have to go out again."

The notion brought a light to his whole being, and he suppressed a laugh on hearing her apparent surprise as he snatched the towel from her grasp, sending it flying across the room.

"Well, Mrs Bates," he growled, causing her giggles to come forth, "I believe I have a way to remedy that."

He was on his feet before she could say any more, surprised by his own agility. Anna started to take slow steps backwards towards the bathroom, and he smiled at how close their minds were in synchronisation.

"Shall I heat the water up, Mr Bates?"

Something told him that it wouldn't take much.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you for reading and the kind words! Hope you continue to enjoy the parts to come.**

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_Yellow Light_

_Part 2_

The day had been very fine, the sun still shining well into the afternoon. All of the staff had very much welcomed their outing to the seaside, proving to be just the tonic that was needed after an exceptionally busy season with Lady Rose's debut. Those who had been around long enough to remember were occasionally wistful as they recalled the last time there had been such a fuss made, memories of Lady Sybil bringing a fresh sense of grief that was thankfully outweighed by sweetness that she had been in the world even if for a time that was far too short. All traces of low moods banished, spirits continued to be high as everyone determined to make the most of the hours left before the break was over.

John was pleased to be part of it, finding that he could be more relaxed and sociable on days like this when everybody was relatively free to do their own thing. As was usual, he hung back from the crowd – although the servants were well dispersed across the beach into their typical groups – and he was heartened to observe the collective enjoyment. Yet his concern was always with the one that was dearest to his heart, who he could see sitting not too far away, her back to him but her face set towards the light.

She had certainly appeared to be happier on this trip, smiling more often and with the kind that he knew were true; the kind that reached her eyes and made them glimmer with hope that he prayed had not been lost. He had fretted that it might all be too much for her, being away from home with such a large party, but if anything she had thrived on the work and the company. As she had talked and even laughed at certain moments with Mrs Hughes and Miss Baxter he felt his heart lift, thinking how she seemed so carefree. Their own conversations felt almost back to the way they had been so cherished previously, with less hesitations and weight behind the gaps in words and phrases. They had been fortunate enough to share a room at Grantham House, with twin beds. He tried not to think too much, but still he could not have imagined how the simplest and shortest of embraces like the ones they had been sharing each night before they slept separately would mean the world to him. Closing his eyes now he felt Anna's arms hugging around him, drawing closer than they had been in months. He held the tears back as he always did, so overwhelmed that they were reclaiming something of what they were. True love could never be so easily extinguished, and the light of their love had given them both faith to get through the darkest times.

It was a question that was forever in his mind, yet he never wanted to ask it of her, knowing that it would only compound both of their sorrow. Today it was enough to simply watch her and know; _yes, she was happy._ Tomorrow, it could be quite a different story. It would take time to repair; the rest of their lives. But he would be there with her, to celebrate the good days and weather the bad ones. They would be together always – there would be no doubt about that.

The only cloud that had marred the day had been due to his own stupid fault. It wounded him deeply to even think that he had caused any hurt feelings in his beautiful, utterly blameless wife. He could have excused himself by saying that his thoughts were elsewhere, but it was no consolation. To think that he had made her apologise when there was no need on this earth made him repulsed with himself and he was even more frustrated that the way he had let things go had unnecessarily complicated their life, when it was the last thing that was needed.

_The letter that was in her name arrived on their doorstep in the time that she was away, those thirty days that were an agonising eternity. He was frozen for minutes, staring at the way 'Mrs John Bates' had been carefully scripted upon the envelope, tormenting himself by thinking she would likely not remain for much longer. Whatever it was would only cause her more worry that she would not possibly be able to shoulder, so he tore it open, foolishly believing that something addressed to her would bring her back to him if only for seconds. _

_In truth he had forgotten that they had decided jointly to put his mother's house in London on the market some months ago. He was finding it hard to remember the hours that came before the last at present. An offer had come through the letting agent, the first that went past mere rental. John picked up the letter inviting a visit for proper discussions again some months later. He would only venture to go when he knew that Anna would be secure enough to be without him, knowing he would not leave her side for a second when she did not wish it. Now that she was aware of what had happened, he trusted Lady Mary to keep her well occupied. While she was elsewhere in the city safe with her mistress, he set off to see if he could settle part of their brighter future._

_Negotiations had not taken long, with the prospective buyers simply not able to match the current price, and John regretfully being unwilling to budge, knowing that it was something of a steal as it was. The agent reassured him that there would be interest later down the line, yet it did nothing to stop his dejection. Nothing he did seemed to work at the moment. He had failed her yet again, and it was the worst feeling in the world. God knows how many more failures he would have to face up to, the look upon her face breaking his heart each time until there was only dust left. He did not need to gaze up to the sign over his head to know that Piccadilly wasn't far. Blood turned to steel in his veins, his free fist tightening against the leather of his glove as his mind took on a cold, hard focus. It was not what he had wanted, though he had often pondered, but it was something he could do to be sure that she would be free from a great deal of the pain. How sad it was that the only right he could do was in wrong._

_The streets were busier than he had seen them, the main square crowded with people. He supposed that it was a strange blessing. He took a few moments to map out his movements, then the deep silence of his mind was pierced with a scream that was near to the most chilling he had ever heard. Vehicles screeched against the asphalt of the road, a small body about to stumble in their path. He had no idea he was still able to move so fast. Scooped in his arms, the child was stunned before it began to wail from the shock, reaching its chubby arms past his shoulders. A woman of petite stature came rushing forth, and John almost stumbled himself seeing her blonde hair peeking from underneath her hat. She offered him endless thanks with her words as well as her striking blue eyes, capturing his senses as he handed the child back over into its mother's grasp. Stepping back, he was aimless until there was a hand on his shoulder, placing his discarded cane back into his right hand. _

"_Likely we'll see a few more accidents before the day is out," the older man with a newspaper in his other hand commented to John, "and they won't end as happily as this one."_

_He could only nod in agreement, his gaze fixed to the child who was smiling again and holding an arm out towards him as it was showered with kisses from the young mother. The sight caused an image to form in his mind, bringing him back from the brink._

_Without another thought he headed in the direction he had come from, stuffing his hand deep into the seam of his coat pocket, not casting a single look back to that day._

His eyes didn't leave Anna as he went forward purposefully slowly, being careful not to startle her. She wasn't too bothered, her attention caught by the game of cricket some of the others had started up a bit further along the beach. Sitting on a low stone wall her legs dangled slightly above the sandy ground and he caught the glimpse of a slow smile as she tilted her head to the side to follow the action, laughing lightly and clapping every now and then when a successful point was scored. It was no exaggeration to say that, at least in his eyes, the sun seemed to increase in its force around her as if its shining too was reliant on her happiness. John stopped for a moment to admire her, sending thanks to the heavens that times like this could still exist.

She must have been aware of his gaze, peering over her shoulder with her hat held in her hands, having removed it briefly to let it double up as a makeshift fan in the non-existent breeze. John couldn't help but be breathtaken by seeing her face uncovered; her beauty was so fresh and radiant, complimented perfectly by the late summer's day. He was prouder of her still that the smile she had been wearing only grew in strength, and his own expression followed suit. It could do nothing else when he had her in his vision.

Before he took his seat next to her, he handed the ice cream cone over into her hands. A small thrill surged through him watching the way her eyes lit up beneath the brim of her hat, now securely back on her head. She nibbled at the vanilla scoop slowly and thoughtfully. Resting his cane against the wall, he joined her in spectating, the peace between them comforting and not taken for granted.

"Who's winning?"

Anna contemplated his question for a moment or two, then gave a small shrug of her shoulders.

"I don't think they're keeping proper score. Not like the tournament. It's really just showing off to see who can make the biggest shot."

Minutes later, they looked on in amusement as most of those playing clambered to try and catch the ball Jimmy had sent flying almost the length of the shore.

"Mr Molesley isn't playing?" John observed, surprised that the man hadn't been first to take part, despite his lack of skill.

"No," Anna nodded her head towards where he could be seen sitting with his knees pulled up on the sand, deep in conversation with the other lady's maid. "He seems to have better things to be occupied with now."

The couple shared a smile, both thinking of the relationship that was blossoming between their fellow servants. Anna had expressed regret that she hadn't been as accommodating to Miss Baxter as she could have been on the lady's maid's arrival, although John was quick to dismiss her concerns; given the unfortunate timing, nothing else could have been expected. In the time since the two women had struck up a firm friendship, and John was sure that Anna probably knew more about Miss Baxter and Mr Molesley than she was letting on. He didn't mind at all, glad that his wife had another companion to rely on. At the same time he had no qualms if Anna had decided to discuss certain matters with her equal. Of course he wished for her to come to him with all of her burdens, but he knew there were still things that were too difficult for her to say. He would not dwell and would wait patiently, even if it took the rest of their life together.

As they moved back and forth across the beach the agility of the other men astounded him, although he had once been just as quick and proficient, if not more so. He was struck suddenly by how youthful Anna was – how youthful she remained – and he felt quite diminished, his head filling with regret for all the opportunities she would miss simply for choosing him.

"I'm rather envious," he admitted, causing his wife's soft gaze to settle upon him. "It was never my game, but every now and then I think it would be nice to be involved."

He noticed a certain look gracing the very edges of her delicate features.

"I can't say that it matters to me," she began hesitantly, "there are plenty of other things that caught my fancy about you."

Her head dipped quickly, shielded by her hat, but John was able to briefly catch sight of the apples of her cheeks. She was blushing profusely, the way she hadn't done since the early days of their courtship. A lump filled John's throat, quickly replacing the joy he had felt on hearing her utter such a statement so freely. They had been rebuilding their intimacy steadily and slowly, and she was easier with showing him affection now, but they both knew there was still a long way to go yet.

He almost believed that he might have slipped into a dream when dainty fingers wrapped around two of his, followed soon by her whole hand pressing against his own palm. A sigh left him, unbidden, and he felt rather than saw her smiling.

"I'm sorry," the words left him quickly but sincerely.

Anna's eyes shot towards him. "Whatever for?"

It seemed as though she really had forgotten, while the guilt had remained with him all day.

"For snapping at you before. About the coat. I over-reacted and it was ridiculous of me."

Her forehead crinkled a little as she shook her head. "It was no more than you usually do." Despite his torment he was heartened to hear the lightness in her tone that had been missing for quite some time appear again for a moment. "It's quite alright. We should have sorted through the things together, I wasn't thinking."

"You shouldn't need to think," he managed a half-smile. "There really was no need for it. I won't be bad enough to blame the heat. I was being an irrational fool, plain and simple." He knew he still possessed a sharp tongue at times, and he would never forgive himself if he started using it against Anna, when he was the only one to blame for the things he hadn't said.

"John,"- his back straightened on hearing him use his first name, it seemed to affect him even more greatly now- "it's forgotten about. Truly. Let's not the waste the time we still have away worrying on something of nothing."

He had a greater smile for her reasoning, knowing that she was right. She had told him last night that she was looking forward to being back home and it made him happy to hear, feeling much the same. It would be good to have some real privacy again and to be able to continue making some good, new memories. At the same time John resolved that once they were there he would come clean about what had happened in London once and for all. He would not let at least one cloud linger over their heads when it could be easily dispersed.

John noticed that more than a hint of a quite cheeky grin had formed on her lips, and he wondered what was going on her head, encouraged that it was something she wanted there.

"There is a way you could make up for it," she ventured softly.

He smirked at the role reversal from not too long ago. "Oh, is there now? It wouldn't happen to involve ice cream, by any chance?" She had devoured the previous treat with speed, a tiny trace of it still dotted at the corner of her lips.

"Why, it certainly does, Mr Bates."

"Well, I can't possibly refuse you anything, my love." John dug his hand into the pocket of his trousers, ascertaining whether he had enough spare change. "Even if you will bankrupt me one of these days."

Her laughter was his most sought after soundtrack.

"I shall come with you, and we shall scrape something together," she trilled. "Plus, I want to make sure they don't sell out of chocolate."

John chortled, offering his arm for her to hop back down onto the sand. When her lips landed upon his cheek before her feet touched the ground he broke out into a grin, the gesture unexpected but most certainly held dear.

Walking off arm in arm towards the ice cream cart, the tide had seemed to have started to turn, at long last. The good memories of this day far outweighed the bad of so many that had passed before.

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**A/N: Well, I don't suspect it will have gone this way, but this is my version of events. I like to think this did happen after we saw them for all of 30 seconds or so. **

**Also, I found out after writing this that a penny lick is an ice cream in a small glass, and they pre-dated cones. But to my mind it was something slightly different, so I'm just skirting over that minor detail. (If DA can be inaccurate at times...)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Just a note to say that I wrote this before the UK press launch (when certain vague things came out regarding A/B in S5), but I suppose it was always my intention to go AU for these parts anyway.**

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_Yellow Light_

_Part 3_

Waves washed over her bare feet, swirling in circles against the sand and then flowing away, to be replaced with the next surge that came from the vast stretch of water. Anna briefly wondered how long it would take to feel the whole sea drift over her skin. When it came in a rush, like it did every so often, she was reminded precisely how ticklish she was, especially upon the soles of her feet. For the most part, the gentle lapping was soothing as well as quite invigorating. It was precisely what she needed, though she hadn't really done much today except stroll at intervals along the shore, watching holiday-makers as they passed by in their pairs or sometimes in larger groups. Toddling children watched over by cautious parents or older siblings brought a fond smile to her face, the late summer breeze that passed by not enough to lift it. The sand beneath her was turning increasingly to a sludgy silt, and she took a strange sort of delight in digging her toes deeper. She didn't see the point of being at the beach if you weren't going to completely embrace it. The water would wash away well enough. It was just the right temperature to feel wonderful to her, the aching of her soles ebbing away with each wave that passed by.

The minutes and hours had a tendency to melt together here, which wasn't a problem for most of the time. In fact it was something of a treat, not to be tied to routines and ruled by the ringing of bells. Anna was struck with a little pang of guilt; she had said that she was only going for a quick paddle, and now she was sure that that must have been at least half an hour ago, if not more.

Not quite ready to tear herself – or rather, her swollen feet, which were thanking her intensely for the relief they had been provided with – from the water just yet, she looked back to the beach, expecting to see her husband's tall and well-tailored figure standing there. When he had returned earlier in the afternoon he had greeted her with a kiss while she sat in one of the deckchairs, folding the book she had been reading against her lap to place her hands upon him instead. Giving her one of his most promising smiles he said he would go back to the hotel to change into something more comfortable instead, already having unbuttoned his suit jacket. So she was a little surprised to find him ambling out towards her an hour or so later, still in his smart clothes even if he was a bit more dishevelled around the edges and his hair mussed – a sight that she would never complain about, having a penchant for John looking a touch more casual. Before she could ask, his slightly sleepy eyes said it all. He'd taken a seat on the bed in their room, just for a minute or two, and had ended up drifting off for an early evening nap, the early start and various appointments of the day obviously taking their toll. His adorable, bumbling apologies made Anna grin, her heart fit to burst with the adoration she would always feel for the wonderful man that belonged completely to her. She silenced his worries with another sweet kiss pressed to his lips – she knew her husband well enough to know what would do the trick – and said that it was just a shame that she hadn't been there to join him, thinking how falling asleep in his arms was undeniably one of her favourite pastimes, at any time of day or night.

At that moment he was running a hand back through his hair that had now become victim to the wind rolling in from the sea. Anna squinted her eyes so that she might get a better look at his face from this distance, but she could be certain that he remained as handsome as ever.

"I won't be long," her voice carried down across the sand. "Just a couple of minutes more."

She didn't need to accurately see his smile, hearing it apparent in his tone instead.

"Take as long as you want, we've got all the time we need. I've got no plans to be anywhere else."

Anna smiled at that, the sleeves of her light blouse billowing against the breeze. It was true that their plans here weren't all that well-defined, their evenings spent in whatever way the tide seemed to carry along. It was a way of life that they would need to adjust to, being familiar with years spent working to the strict schedules of others, but she thought that she could get used to it very well indeed.

She sighed against the air, preparing herself to make a move, when she felt two strong arms slip about her waist. She didn't jump, but instead instinctively relaxed against her husband's hold, one of her hands dropping to cover his. Her head nestled below his shoulder and she smiled as he dropped a kiss upon the top of her head. His feet were either side of hers, dwarfing them in size, and she saw that he had rolled up his trousers just enough so that the legs wouldn't get soaked. Laughter couldn't be stifled as her gaze went back out to the beach behind them, and she saw two black shoes that had previously been well-shined tossed onto the sand, pointing out at different angles like the hands on a compass and quite some distance apart.

"John!" she exclaimed, trying not to be distracted with the feel of his fingertips floating against her. "Your shoes! You only got them the other week."

"I don't reckon any seagulls will come along and steal them," he shrugged, his broad chest remaining pressed to her back. "Besides, they're only a pair of shoes. You are always telling me that I should throw more caution to the wind."

"Caution, not a perfectly good pair of new shoes," she pointed out. "We are supposed to be saving, after all."

"I'll collect them in a moment." John was suitably admonished, but Anna craned her head to see him smiling fondly down at her. "I just couldn't resist coming out to see what was so great about this water."

Anna smiled, knowing her husband's usual reluctance to join her for a paddle, complaining that the sea was always too cold.

"It's nice and warm, isn't it? I think it's just perfect."

"It is," he conceded, and she was pleasantly surprised. "As are a couple of other things that I could mention. In fact I am quite certain that nothing else this place, or indeed the world, has to offer could come close to matching them for perfection."

John always had a sweet tongue when he was in these kind of playful moods, which Anna was happy to note were occurring more frequently now. His large hands were careful as they reached down to cradle the swell of her stomach, growing as it seemed to by the hour, never mind the day. She couldn't help but think that this moment, as completely ordinary as it was, was one of the most perfect that she had ever experienced – the sun slow in its set over the shore, the water coming to a calm at both of their feet, but most of all her husband there to share it all with her, keeping guard of their unborn child, who must have been lulled to sleep with the peace of everything. For most of the day she had felt it move and wriggle inside of her, much like the waves that danced at intervals on the top of the sea. It was a bit of a peculiar sensation, but one Anna rejoiced in every single time she encountered it, each movement unique and different from the last. Now she was quite sure that she never wanted to move from where she was, wishing to live for eternity inside the rest of this moment.

Then she thought otherwise, considering that she was already far too eager to hold their baby in her arms. Better still, she simply could not wait to witness John cradling their child, already imagining the look of sheer wonder upon his face. They would have to come back here when the baby was old enough, take it for stumbling little steps upon the sand and sit smiling for hours as it played with fistfuls in its tiny hands. Though the plan was for Anna to give birth at home in Downton, neither wanted to wait too long to make their move away. Being able to run their own business would be much better, giving them the precious opportunity to watch their child grow and cherish in all those special moments, as well as having longer to spend with one another of mornings and evenings. They had waited long enough to be blessed in such a way, and now that the time was approaching they had decided to do everything just how they had always dreamed. Thankfully there had been nothing to take them by unfortunate surprise, and though Anna doubted that any force was powerful enough to stop John's fussing, she was quite assured that things would continue to go as smoothly as they had been.

At least John had been relieved when Mrs Hughes had informed them that they were clear to head to Whitby for a week, in their pursuit of seeking out some potential hotels that might serve as their future home. He had been pleading with Anna to take it easier for months; ever since she had come home to the cottage with the happy news from Doctor Clarkson, he would have had her tucked up in bed with an endless supply of cocoa and books to while away the time. Anna was of a different mind, knowing herself and wanting to be able to carry on working for as long as she was able. She would attend to Lady Mary for a couple of weeks longer when they got back and then another maid would take over, her career of a little over twenty years coming to an end. The thought was rather sad, she did not deny, but she was more than ready for her new occupation to begin.

They strolled along with fingers linked together, Anna going at a slower pace that John was more than happy to accommodate, commenting that she had slowed down enough for him over the past years. She watched him, her palms stroking over her belly, as he picked up his shoes that were decorated with grains of sand, shaking them vigorously before putting on his socks and fixing them back to his feet. Anna found herself worrying on two accounts – the first whether her feet would even fit back into her own shoes, and how on earth she would look even halfway dignified as she struggled to be able to reach to put them back on. John grinned boyishly as he held the pair in one of his hands, reaching out towards his wife with the other. Leading her back to the row of deckchairs that thankfully hadn't been blown away by the wind, he sat her down and held one foot then the other in his hands, pausing to give the soles a little massage before acting as her own personal lady's maid. The very idea made her giggle helplessly.

As they walked the length of the pier arm in arm, Anna could not contain her curiosity any longer. John had given her some details about the last property he had visited that afternoon before he had his rest, but now she was keen to know more. The deep furrow of his brow did not bode well. He explained that it had fewer rooms than he was expecting, not to mention that the running water that had been installed was rather unpredictable at best. Anna bit back a smirk, thinking that her husband's standards were higher than anyone she had ever come across. She believed they were more than capable of getting stuck in to a bit of work, managing well enough to bring the cottage back from its disrepair. Yet John would not settle for anything less than perfect. It wasn't just the two of them they needed to think about, he said, and no matter what they thought it would be a lot harder to get things done when they also needed to keep an eye on an inquisitive and active baby. They both smiled as they considered that they wouldn't have it any other way. But still the fact remained that they didn't have much time if they were to get matters sorted.

"You know, I'd like to be able to go to more than one appointment every other day," Anna gazed up at John, running her fingers over his arm in the hope that it would add to her methods of persuasion. His look of concern would need a little more effort to shift. "I'm sure I've seen everything the seaside has to offer of an afternoon. At least three times over now."

"Traipsing around inspecting hotels is a tiring business," he said soundly, looking off into the distance. "I don't want you to get worn out."

She frowned a little, his answer not at all unexpected. "John, I'm six months pregnant, not an invalid. I think I can put up with a little tiredness." The way that he pursed his lips made her giggle. "Really, if I would have known you weren't going to let me tag along, I would have stayed at Downton. I thought the point was to explore together?"

A smirk came up on his face, and she didn't need to ask what he was thinking.

"Well, there are a few places I wouldn't mind exploring with you."

Anna looped her arm away from his for a moment to give his elbow a playful smack. "That's quite enough of that, Mr Bates. You don't know how much this one is likely to hear." She delighted in watching her husband's face fill with a smile as he regarded her splaying her hand upon her stomach.

"No, you're right," John relented. "The next viewing isn't too far from here, and it's not until noon tomorrow. Gives us the chance to have a lie-in, too."

"That would be very nice."

Her smile was triumphant, and she had to admit that she very much liked the sound of a lazy morning too, seeming all the better when the sounds of the sea were just outside of their window. Looking up to his height, Anna thought that the climate here suited John very well. It had been so long since she had seen him quite so relaxed, and even though he always had many smiles for her the ones he wore now were genuine, she could tell.

It seemed like it was just now that they were moving forward, really and truly. The last couple of years had been trying, much as she knew they would be. She had needed time to adjust to the things John told her about what he had been thinking and came perilously close to doing, but for the saving grace that was her. She battled with her own struggles, the memories that she would never be able to banish completely. It was a part of her past, but she had not let it rule her future. There was a time a year or so ago when everything had seemed to accumulate in her head, believing the looks she got while she went through the village meant something more than just passing glances. One night she dissolved into tears at the cottage, pleading with John that they should go to a place where nobody knew them to begin everything again. She knew now that they hadn't been ready for it then. But with different, happier changes very close by in their life, the time was right and for reasons Anna couldn't be more overjoyed with.

"We can look elsewhere, perhaps in a month or so we could ask for a couple of days," John's voice punctured her thoughts. "There's Bridlington, Withernsea…some places just a little bit further from the sea, but not by too much."

Anna had to smile knowing that John was keen to follow her wishes to the letter. "Something will turn up," she said with more faith than she'd had in anything else in her life. "Maybe we can count on the baby's opinion, too."

"Theirs is the one that matters most of all."

He squeezed her hand before raising it to his mouth, his lips pliable against her skin. John was always so tender and considerate with her, but now these tendencies had only increased, and Anna cherished every kiss and gentle touch.

Her free hand patted against her stomach, which had seemed to have replaced her brain in thinking for her. "But for the moment, the baby's opinion is that it would like some supper."

John nodded, stopping for a moment to consider, though there weren't too many options.

"Will fish and chips do?"

Anna bobbed her head in approval. "I do believe it will."

Sitting in the little restaurant they made their way through their portions and looked out towards the beach that was almost empty, thinking rather than dreaming of all the things that were in store for them. Anna stopped between mouthfuls, smiling as she felt the baby thumping against her insides. It had certainly acquired a liking for fish and chip suppers, which would mean that they would need to return very soon indeed.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Once again, thank you for the reads and reviews. Every one means a lot to me, and I'm glad I can share my musings with many others who can appreciate them :) This is the last chapter of this little story, so please enjoy.**

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_Yellow Light_

_Part 4_

The woman looked around the small lobby of the hotel. Her wide-brimmed hat hid her eyes a little, but they were a shade of clearest blue. Perhaps there were a few more faint lines beneath them now, but that was largely down to the early mornings she had become happily accustomed to rather than the sleepless nights she had no choice but to endure in the past years. Time had gone on, sometimes faster than she would care to consider, but her appearance hadn't changed all that much. Though she still held a myriad of memories from a life that had not been free from troubles, she was glad that she had let herself be altered enough that she was able to enjoy the days she had now.

And before it had really started, Anna knew that she would enjoy this particular day most of all, considering it was the first one they had afforded themselves off in a while.

She talked easily with Lottie who sat at reception, and double-checked the lists for who would be coming and going with Samuel, their second-in-command. Anna thought that she was lucky to catch him as he dashed in and out of rooms, looking flustered. The poor man needed a break, and yet he rarely took them up on their offers that he should have a holiday. Every now and then both her and John were struck with a pang when they noticed how much he resembled William, and more than one tear came to Anna's eyes as she thought about what their dearest friend might have been doing now if fate had turned in a different direction. Seeing that she was upset, John would gaze down upon her and give her arm a squeeze. She had told him that time ago that he of all people should probably not employ someone based on their appearance and he had simply smiled, saying that his intuition had been proved right. It was one of the many things that he maintained had been improved from the time they had been together.

Guests began to filter out too, and they smiled at her as they went past, wishing her a pleasant day which she reciprocated to each one. An older woman cooed again when she saw the little boy in Anna's arms, his body wriggling and his chubby legs kicking out, eager so soon to begin walking though he surely wasn't ready just yet. Smoothing back his fine baby hair, Anna pressed a kiss to his head while she kept an eye peeled, wondering where her eldest had gotten to. A faint crashing sound emerging from the kitchen made her wince and fill with dread all at once. The baby hadn't been fazed by the noise, gurgling and gumming at his mother's shoulder. Before she could slip behind the desk to inspect further, the little girl came running out, almost faster than her legs could manage to carry her. Anna knew she should have felt more displeased, but it was impossible for the smile to be kept from her face whenever she saw her slightly mischievous but incredibly sweet daughter, knowing that it was something of a miracle that she had been brought into the world.

"Emma," she scolded with not much force, "I've told you a thousand times not to run off when Mummy can't see you, not even in the hotel."

Her small hands flailed and she was almost breathless with her discovery. Anna could already distinguish a scuff-mark on her new sandals and a faint stain on the waistband of her dress. Pale colours were probably not the best idea.

"But Mummy, Mrs Lewis said I could look," her daughter's words came out in a garble. "She made them for our picnic." Emma's face lit up even more excitedly. "Gones."

Anna managed to keep her giggles at bay. "_Scones_," she corrected, entranced by the beam upon the little girl's face. "Well, that's very kind of her. I hope you said thank you for the one she let you have."

Eyes widening, Emma covered her hands around her mouth, nodding her head vigorously while she hid the trace of strawberry jam that came as the evidence.

"That's good," Anna smiled as she placed a palm on her daughter's hair, feeling prouder still when she was able to take one of her hands. "Now, we'd better collect everything before Daddy wonders where we have got to."

Greeting the cook as she went into the kitchen, Anna made sure the children were placated before she gathered the rest of the food into the modest picnic basket, having prepared it herself the night before. John had gone out before them, still being an early riser. The business called for it, and they were both glad that it was going so well. They had always been sensible in their expectations, knowing that it typically took a few years for a hotel to get established with new owners. The speed at which things had picked up had been surprising but not too demanding, and they had taken on a few extra members of staff to assist just recently. It was all perhaps a little busier than they had pictured in their dreams but they still had more time to themselves here than they did at Downton. She couldn't have imagined being able to look after two young children by herself most of the day and she knew that John cherished every minute he was able to watch them grow before his eyes, encouraging every step and word and doing everything he could to make both of them smile and laugh, which they always did easily and delightedly for their father.

They were lucky enough to have their own private cottage next to the hotel, and it was there that their proudest achievements were celebrated. Even after a trying day the best times could be seen ahead of them, Anna and John sharing smiles as they bathed their son and daughter in the same tub. Anna listened just as attentively as the children to the bedtime stories John would tell animatedly, and with kisses upon their foreheads and dreams in their heads they both went off to sleep soundly. Though they could have dropped themselves, John and Anna made the most of the time they had completely to themselves and were always eager to do so, giggles following them down the stairs balanced by a kiss upon every other step.

Anna shook her head after a brief bout of dreaming, safe in the knowledge that what they had now would never disappear. The two little ones with beaming faces sitting upon the counter were proof enough of that. She hooked the wicker basket over one arm so she was able to pick up Christopher with both hands, and smiled as Emma stopped to bid an enthusiastic farewell to everyone she could find. She would have taken longer about it given the time, but the promise of seeing her daddy again speeded the little girl along – at a pace that thankfully Anna was able to keep up with.

The morning was bright, and much warmer than she had imagined an April day would have been. Blue skies with only wisps of white cloud promised that it would remain this way well into the afternoon. It wasn't high season, which meant they were able to take the time without worrying too much. Their staff were perfectly capable and they were fortunate enough to have a good rapport with all of them, but it was in both of their natures to feel a little guilty that they shouldn't have been at the helm. Now they knew the strain that Mr Carson and Mrs Hughes had permanently been under, though their little establishment was not as grand or indeed provided quite so many problems that Downton Abbey had. The much-missed housekeeper had written to Anna a week or so ago to inform them that she would be making a visit for a weekend in the summer, and already Anna was greatly anticipating the thought of seeing the woman who had been like a mother to her again. They kept in touch regularly, and Scarborough wasn't all that far, but this trip would be quite special – it would be the first time Mrs Hughes would meet Christopher, though he was almost a year old. Emma had turned four in November last year. Again, Anna wondered to herself where that time had gone to.

It didn't take long to walk down to the beach, and Anna had to call out to Emma who was getting further away, her hat nearly flinging off as she bounced along to the edge of the sand. When she noticed where their daughter was headed, however, she had to curb the urge to run herself.

John stood, his smile evident beneath his slightly worn and fraying panama hat. His jacket had been discarded onto the wide blanket that was stretched at his feet, yet he was still wearing his waistcoat for the time being. His gaze burned towards Anna and she felt herself beam at his attentions, while the warm weight of their son was held in her arms. He kept his smiling eyes trained on her until Emma's hands pulled at the leg of his trousers, and Anna's heart overflowed when he scooped up their little girl, kissing both of her cheeks and hanging on to all of her exclamations.

"What's all this?" Anna asked with a smile on her face, surprised to see the sizeable hamper lying on top of the blanket.

"It seems Mrs Lewis had prepared it," John answered, putting Emma down gently to allow her to continue frolicking with the sand. He came forth, planting a kiss upon Christopher's head and then a brief but sweet one on his wife's lips. "I didn't want to argue with her, you know that she can be more than a match for Mrs Patmore at times." They both chuckled as they were reminded of Downton's cook, and didn't want to imagine a face-off between the two. "So I graciously accepted. We can always stock up at home if it doesn't all get eaten."

"I'll say. There's enough to feed the five thousand here."

Anna opened her mouth a little too wide on purpose, encouraging a laugh from their baby son who she bounced in her arms before settling him down onto his tummy on the blanket. She began to rifle through the various sandwiches, salads and pies, thinking they would all be very well fed by the end of the day.

"And this one has already had at least one scone." She uncovered the contents of the basket, smirking to herself knowing that her husband was partial to the sweet treat also.

"Is that right, Tinker?"

Emma giggled as her father's hands wrapped around her, tickling her sides and making her shriek out loudly. At any other time Anna might have been worried that she was making a scene, but as they were out on the beach and absolutely free to enjoy their day however they pleased, all cares were far from her mind.

"Daddy, I want to make a sandcastle!"

"Just one?" John teased, raising an eyebrow towards Anna as Emma was already pulling him by the shirt sleeve off in the opposite direction.

"Emma, give your father a chance. He's been out all morning."

"I can manage," John smirked as he gave the assurance to his wife, the expression soon blooming into one of the most beautiful smiles she had ever seen. He had never been so happy than to have them all together as a family, and the only smiles that rivalled the one he was wearing now were the ones plastered upon him on the night Emma and the morning Christopher was born. Anna let the sensations they provided her with radiate as she looked up to her husband's figure, even finer when he had their daughter in his arms. "Come on then, Tink, let's go and find some seashells."

Father and daughter toddled their way down the beach, John bending a little to be able to hold Emma's hand in his, and Anna knew she would never tire of the sight. Watching Christopher pat his tiny hands against the blanket, she smoothed her hand against the baby's back before picking him up again, settling him into her lap as she looked out towards the sea.

Both of their children had inherited Anna's fair hair and blue eyes, a fact that had delighted John to no end. She believed there was still time for both of their hair to darken at least, but in the sun Christopher's had seemed lighter than ever, Emma's remaining hidden beneath her sun hat which was remarkably still on her head. They had talked about it and thought maybe they would have another child who would take after John in every aspect. Neither of them were getting younger and perhaps there wouldn't be much time left. But they figured that they would leave things up to chance, knowing that even tomorrow could not be precisely planned, never mind the future.

The explorers returned with their treasure, Anna showing her astonishment for all the shells they had unearthed. John settled himself at the edge of the blanket, heaping sand into the bucket with a small spade while Emma used her hands. Anna wiped it off before she ventured to get her daughter something to eat, and shook her head as John explained the reasons why they were called 'sandwiches'. With a vaguely puzzled look on her face, Emma soon sensibly dismissed the notion. After a couple more breaks for nourishment the task came to a successful end, the pair looking very proud with their efforts.

"Well, that is quite something," Anna exclaimed while little Christopher clapped his hands in approval.

"It's Downton Abbey, Mummy," Emma smiled as she stuck the final seashell into the 'door' of the castle for decoration.

"So it is." Anna sucked in a breath regarding the creation, unaware that a tear had sprung to her eye.

"What's wrong, Mummy?" the little girl frowned for a moment. "Don't you like it?"

Anna shook her head quickly, heartbroken to see the look on her daughter's face. She gathered Emma close to her while Christopher continued to babble.

"I love it, my sweetheart," she said, reassuring Emma with a wide smile and a nod of her head. "It's nice to be reminded of it. It has a lot of memories for Mummy and Daddy."

She gazed up to find John smiling at her, and she responded in kind, her heart warming every time she looked at him.

Sometimes she thought of Downton in the midst of a busy day. In moments she would miss the bustle and the chatter, and she would always hold it dear to her heart, regardless of the bad as well as the good that had occurred. She had met John there, and that meant that it was one of the most special places on earth. They had made their home elsewhere now, and perhaps in some years down the line they would find another place to settle. Maybe it was exactly here that they would grow old surrounded by their children – a shining light of a promise John had made to her in a time when darkness had still pervaded. Indeed, they might even have some grandchildren around.

Anna let out a laugh as Christopher poked one of his fingers against her cheek, John laughing just the same, and then smiled at her baby boy as he smoothed his small palm over the same patch on her face. She hoped he wouldn't grow up too fast.

Their children soon tired themselves out, sleeping on the blanket as the afternoon went into evening. Anna rested with her back against John's solid chest, her legs settled between his as they gazed out at the horizon. She was happy enough to listen to the distant waves as well as the steady beat of his heart, knowing how precious their quiet moments together were these days.

"What are you thinking about?" she pondered aloud, having turned and thinking her husband wore something of a solemn expression, though he was remarkably handsome.

"The sea," he responded after a moment or two, smiling as Anna furrowed her brow towards him. "How many times we have watched the tide come in and go out again."

John was still prone to making partially cryptic remarks occasionally, and this one made Anna smile a little while she thought about its significance too.

"You," he said after a few minutes of peaceful silence. "How long it has been, and how I wish sometimes that it could have been sooner."

"I think it was just the right time," she smiled, thinking fondly again about that day when she had made it to the bottom of the stairs to find him waiting there, and finding even then that something had changed within her.

"I do too," John held her more tightly, dropping a kiss against her hairline. "And now I'm thinking that I couldn't live one minute without you."

He could be awfully sentimental sometimes, but she rather loved it.

"Happy anniversary, love."

The fact still made her heart jump with joy. "Happy anniversary, Mr Bates."

She eased out of his embrace, only to be able to look into his eyes, touch his face and then, slowly, to brush her lips with his.

The whole world was here, and though it had taken some time to own it, she wouldn't swap the happiness she had now for anything.

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**A/N: The ending came out a little different than I had anticipated it, but it just felt right, all things considered. I hope that writing about Baby Bates(es) doesn't prevent it from happening, eventually. I do like to think this is something like the 'peaceful life' Joanne was referring to them having *eventually*.**


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